3 Things I Stopped Doing to Protect My Peace

You know the saying by now: “If you want change in your life, then you have to be the one who changes in your life.”

So, I took a hard look at my life and realized there were things I was doing—habits, patterns, ways of thinking—that were keeping me stuck. Slowly but surely, I began letting them go. And let me tell you, those changes made all the difference.

Here are three things I stopped doing that truly changed my life for the better:

1. I Stopped Caring About What People Wanted or “Needed” from Me

For most of my life, I wore the “dependable” badge like a medal of honor. If someone needed something, I was there. If they had a problem, I was the first one they called. And while being dependable isn’t inherently bad, here’s the issue: people began to expect things from me, even when I didn’t have the time, energy, or capacity to give.

I had to learn the hard way that boundaries are not selfish—they’re necessary. So now, if I’ve clearly expressed to someone that I can’t show up for them in the way they want, that’s my boundary. And here’s the key: I don’t allow it to become a debate or negotiation.

We live in a world where entitlement is rampant—women included. There are folks out here who truly believe they’re entitled to your time, energy, and resources just because they asked. But here’s the truth: no one is entitled to any part of you that you aren’t willingly offering.

If that offends someone? They can take it up with the therapist they probably need to see.

Letting go of the guilt around prioritizing my boundaries was one of the most freeing decisions I’ve ever made.

2. I Stopped Letting People Gaslight My Intuition

I’ve done a lot of inner healing work to rebuild my relationship with my intuition. And let me tell you, she’s sharp, she’s wise, and she’s always looking out for me. So these days, if something doesn’t feel right about a person, place, or situation, I trust that feeling. Period.

Now, that doesn’t mean I impulsively cut people off or run for the hills every time I get a bad vibe. Sometimes, it simply means I need to pause. Maybe I ask more questions. Maybe I step back and observe instead of immediately reacting. That’s where discernment comes into play.

The point is, I’ve stopped letting people gaslight me into doubting what I know deep down. You know the type:

• “You’re overreacting.”

• “That’s not what I meant.”

• “You’re being too sensitive.”

These phrases are designed to make you second-guess yourself, to silence that little voice inside that’s trying to protect you.

But here’s the thing about intuition: it doesn’t always need evidence to be valid. Sometimes, a “bad feeling” is all you’re going to get—and that’s enough.

Learning to trust myself again has been one of the greatest gifts I’ve ever given myself.

3. I Stopped Trying to Help Everyone

I love helping people—especially women. It’s in my nature to offer guidance, lend a hand, or be a shoulder to lean on. But over time, I noticed a pattern: some people weren’t looking for solutions. They weren’t trying to grow, heal, or change.

They were looking for attention.

These are the people who carry their problems like a badge of honor, cycling through one sob story after another. They don’t want clarity. They don’t want resolve. They want the validation that comes with being seen as a victim.

For years, I poured my time, energy, and heart into trying to help people who weren’t ready—or willing—to help themselves. And it left me drained: emotionally, mentally, and spiritually.

Here’s the truth I had to accept: you cannot save anyone who isn’t willing to save themselves.

Now, when I encounter someone who’s addicted to their own victimhood, I kindly but firmly step back. Because my energy is precious, and I’ve learned to protect it.

Helping people who are ready and willing to grow is one of life’s greatest joys. But trying to help people who aren’t? That’s a one-way ticket to burnout.

The Takeaway

Your quality of life is in your hands, sis. No one else can choose what’s good for you—only you can.

So choose wisely. Let go of the habits, people, and patterns that are holding you back. Set boundaries. Trust your intuition. And protect your energy like your peace depends on it—because it does.

I hope this inspired you in some way today. If nothing else, let it be food for thought. Finish your plate, so you can go be great. 😉

P.S If you want to read about my journey through toxic relationships and how I got myself out of them, and/or need some journals that will really help you with your inner work - click here.

Much love,