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  • Writer's pictureCici.B


You know the saying by now, “If you want change in your life, then you have to be the one who changes in your life". So here are some changes I made in my life quite some time ago that made all the difference.

1 - I stopped arguing with folks about my boundaries.

Within this context, caring about what people want or “need” from me is a thing of the past.

If I’ve already expressed to someone that I do not have the time, energy, space, strength, or capacity to give them the thing they want or “need” from me - that’s a boundary - and I choose not to allow it to be up for discussion or negotiation.

There are too many folks out here walking around with a complex of entitlement - women included. No one is entitled to shit all from me, and if that’s offencive to them, they can take it up with the therapist they need to get.

2 - I stopped letting people gaslight my intuition.

I’ve done a lot of inner healing to rebuild the relationship with my intuition and trust her before anyone else. That said, if something doesn’t feel right about a person, place, or situation, then something doesn’t feel right - the end. It doesn’t always mean I have to impulsively cut someone off or remove myself from somewhere, sometimes it just means that I need to ask some questions, do some investigating, or take a step back by talking less so I can observe more - which is where discernment comes into practice.

3 - I stopped trying to help everyone.

A lot of people out there are addicted to positioning themselves as victims of quite literally everything - that’s their entire identity.

They’ll pedal their problems and woes from one person to the next, never actually wanting to find resolve or gain clarity, but instead wanting only the attention they get along with the mental and emotional labour others begin to do for them. A lot of people don’t actually want help; this was a lesson that I kept having to learn the hard way one too many times, mostly because I genuinely love to help people - especially other women - but trying to help people who aren’t interested in helping themselves is emotionally, mentally, and spiritually taxing, so fuck that.

Your quality of life is truly all in your own hands. At the end of the day, you're the one who gets to choose what is or isn't good for you - so choose wisely, girl. Choose wisely.

I hope this inspired you today in some way, shape, or form. If nothing else, let it be food for thought…just make sure you finish your plate so you can go be great ;)

P.S If you want to read about my journey through toxic relationships and how I got myself out of them, and/or need some journals that will really help you with your inner work - click here.

Much love,


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