Breakups will humble you.
You could be the most self-assured, confident woman on the planet, and yet, the wrong relationship ending can break you down in ways you never saw coming.
But what makes breakups brutal isn’t just the pain—it’s the unexpected lessons that slap you in the face after you’ve already been knocked to the ground.
No one prepares you for these.
So, let’s talk about the real breakup lessons—the ones no one warns you about but will change your entire life.
1. The Closure You Want? You’ll Probably Never Get It.
Girl, let me just go ahead and save you some time: stop waiting for closure.
Stop thinking that if you could just get one more conversation, one more explanation, one more apology… it would somehow make the pain make sense.
Because most of the time, it won’t.
Some people will lie until the bitter end.
Some people will rewrite history to make themselves the victim.
Some people will never own up to how deeply they hurt you.
And even if they did? It wouldn’t change what they already did.
The only closure you will ever truly get is the moment you decide to close the damn door yourself.
2. Missing Them Doesn’t Mean You Should Be With Them.
Repeat after me: I can miss someone and still know they were not right for me.
I don’t care how much you miss them.
I don’t care how intense the memories feel.
I don’t care how strong the pull is.
Missing someone is a feeling, not a reason to go back.
Because let’s be real: you don’t miss the reality of that relationship. You miss the moments—the ones your brain has cherry-picked and romanticized.
Do yourself a favor and remember all of it. Not just the good parts.
3. They Will Move On Faster Than You (and It’ll Sting Like Hell).
This one? This one hurts.
You’ll be deep in healing mode, trying to pick up the pieces, doing the work to move on… and suddenly?
BOOM.
There he is. On Instagram. With a new girl.
It’s like a punch to the gut—even if you knew the relationship was trash. Because how could he just… move on like that?
Here’s what no one tells you: the way someone moves on says nothing about your worth—it says everything about them. Some people can’t sit in their own mess, so they jump to the next person to avoid accountability, self-reflection, and healing.
But you? You’re doing the hard work. And one day, you’ll be so grateful you didn’t numb your pain with a rebound.
4. You’ll Romanticize the Hell Out of a Toxic Relationship.
You know when you finally start to feel a little better, and then suddenly, you start thinking, Maybe it wasn’t that bad…
GIRL. STOP.
That’s just your brain playing tricks on you.
Because if it was that good, you wouldn’t have been crying in the shower.
If it was that good, you wouldn’t have had to beg for the bare minimum.
If it was that good, you wouldn’t have had to convince yourself it was good.
The worst thing you can do after a breakup is let nostalgia fool you into thinking a cage was a castle.
5. Healing Will Take Longer Than You Think (and That’s Okay).
No one tells you how long heartbreak lingers.
How you’ll be fine for weeks, then randomly hear a song or see an old photo, and boom—you’re back in the grief.
Healing isn’t linear. It ebbs and flows.
But here’s the thing: Every day you choose yourself is a step forward.
Every day you don’t text him is progress.
Every day you put yourself first is proof that you are moving on.
It’s okay if it takes time. Just don’t go back to what broke you.
The Takeaway: Let This Break You Open, Not Break You Down.
Breakups will change you. That’s inevitable.
But what you do with that change? That’s your power.
Let this be the moment you become stronger, wiser, and more in tune with yourself than ever before.
And if you need someone to remind you you’re not alone in this journey, Letters to My Ex is exactly what you need.
It’s not just a book—it’s the raw, unfiltered truth about heartbreak, healing, and self-discovery.
📖 Read it here.
XO,
