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  • Writer's pictureCici.B


I host a Dating and Relationships Q&A over on IG Live probably 4x a week, and have been doing so since 2017-ish - a year and some change after Instagram rolled out their Live feature.

During every Live I host, there is always a woman who asks, “How long should I wait before I sleep with a man?”.

If you’ve found yourself asking the same question, this is for you: You’re asking the wrong question. The actual questions you should be asking - and to yourself, not other people - are:

  • Is this man safe for me (mentally, emotionally, physically) to share my body with?

  • What does sex mean to me?

  • Do I get attached (not connected) attached to men through sex?

  • Is having sex with this man something I’m genuinely comfortable with doing this early on? Or do I fear if I don’t hurry up and have sex with him, he’ll lose interest in me? And if that’s the case - why do I want to be with a man who is only interested in me for sex?

  • Is sex the only way I know how to create intimacy with a man?

  • Has sex always been the foundation of my relationships? If so, how has that typically worked out for me?

Ask yourself these questions every time, and be honest with yourself about the answers.

If your intention while you’re dating is to eventually progress into a healthy relationship with a man, then sex can’t be the only thing “good” y’all share together, and it definitely can’t be the thing you use to build a healthy relationship.

Food for thought. Finish your plate so you can go be great ;)

P.S I have a 4 day workshop coming up called, No More Abandoning Yourself While Dating - where we cover A LOT of things to help you in your dating life. Click here to get all the info you need, girl.

Much love,


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