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  • Writer's pictureCici.B


Updated: Oct 9, 2023

A lot of women think they “know men”, but in actuality, they only know one type of man—the shitty, toxic type. If you’re out here actively dating or getting back into dating, then you need to learn men, along with the different types of men that exist.

Learn the behaviors and mannerisms that belong to the type of men you don’t want. Learn the behaviors and mannerisms that belong to the type of men you do want.

Learn the difference between a good man who just isn’t interested in you VS a true “ain’t shit” man who intentionally just wants to use you for whatever he can, for however long he can, and doesn’t care about you or your feelings.

So many women call good men “trash” all because they didn’t get a committed relationship from those men, and that’s not okay.

Like women, men—GOOD men—are allowed to use their discernment, too. Like women, men—GOOD men—are allowed to decide that you aren’t a good match for them, too.

Quiet as it’s kept, a lot of women have egos that are more fragile than men, so get in the habit of checking and addressing your ego. Just because a man doesn’t choose you to be his girlfriend, doesn’t mean he’s “trash” or a piece of shit.

Learn the difference between a man who doesn’t have the capacity to show up for himself and his own life, therefore, is unable/won’t be able to show up for you in a relationship VS a man who simply doesn’t want to show up for a relationship with you.

Learn the difference between a man who walks it like he talks it (a man of his word) VS a man who simply has the Gift of the Gab.

Learn what a man who has created PEACE within himself looks and sounds like (so you can stop referring to those men as “boring” VS a man who is still playing Russian Roulette with his inner demons (so you can stop calling that shit “adventurous”).

If you’re going to be out here dating men, then you need to LEARN about men, because no...they aren’t all the same.

No they aren’t “all trash”.

You think the “all men” dating mentality, along with the conversations you have with your echo chamber of homegirls is helping y’all in your dating lives, but it’s actually not. Instead, it’s putting a block on your ability to discern, which in turn, leads you to believe you can move, talk, behave, and carry yourselves the same way with ALL men and get what you desire…and you most certainly cannot.

Everyone wants to talk about “dating intentionally”, but keep leaving out the part where you have to intentionally LEARN about the different types of men who exist in the dating world.

So you’re out here dating? Awesome sauce.

First, make sure you know yourself, then…learn men.

Food for thought. Finish your plate so you can go be great.

P.S I'm 38 now, and am in a very happy, healthy relationship; however, I spent the majority of twenties in a few pretty toxic ones. If you want to read about my journey, you can click here and grab my books. Sometimes just knowing that another woman has been where you are, and made it through, can make all the difference in the world.

Much love,


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