NAVIGATING HEALTHY RELATIONSHIPS
“I feel like I’ve graduated from all of your classes with honors. You taught me how to stop abandoning myself while dating, how to raise my self-esteem and create healthy boundaries for myself, how to take accountability and how to stay out of toxic relationships. Over the course of a year, you taught me how to get my shit aalll the way together. My thing now is…what do I do once I’m IN a healthy relationship? No one teaches us how to exist in a healthy relationship, and I don’t know about everyone else in here, but personally, I’m gonna need you to put together a class on that, B.” —
One of my students said that to me on our last day of class and the rest of the ladies chimed in like, “We second that!”
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When she said it, I remember thinking to myself how much I used to wish someone had taught me what a true healthy relationship looked like, and gave me a heads up (prepared me) for all the work that actually needed to go into one, because I never associated the idea of a healthy relationship with work - and why the hell would I?
As you probably already know by now, I'm 38 and spent most of my twenties in back to back toxic relationships, and if you’re coming from toxic relationships too, then you know that merely existing in that environment is WORK.
Chasing, crying, begging, defending yourself, overextending yourself, constantly trying to “come up” with new ways to “make him see” how much he’s hurting you, walking on eggshells, suppressing your own wants and needs in order to make his a priority, pretending to be okay with things you’re not okay with at all, lying to yourself, making excuses for him to your friends and family - all of that is WORK and it’s exhausting, draining.
So naturally, in my mind, a healthy relationship would be the complete opposite of “work” - right? It would be chill, extra easy. Conflicts, disagreements, hard conversations, disappointments? Those wouldn't exist. "Forgive" my man? I wouldn't ever have to do that because he would never do or say the wrong thing! Duh. Being in a healthy relationship meant everything would just flow like water...
Yeah, no. That ain’t it.
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What I had to learn was that healthy relationships involve work, too, just not in the way I was used to working in the toxic ones - and that’s the part where a lot of women could benefit from some guidance and preparation, which is exactly what this workshop is all about.
So What Does a Healthy Relationship Entail?
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A lot of communication. Having to have difficult conversations.
Putting egos aside. Vulnerability. Trust. Relinquishing the need for control. Collaborations. Compromises. Patience. Forgiveness. Acceptance. Safety. Great days. Bad days. Easy months. Hard months. Laughter. Play. Miscommunications. Conflicts. Disagreements. Addressing and managing triggers. Accountability. Respect. Emotional maturity. Appreciation. Validation. Healing together. Effort. Grace. Learning. Unlearning. Learning some more.
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And a bunch of other stuff in between.
All of these things require work - but not in the toxic way that you may be used to.
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I’ve been hosting group classes and coaching women for a while now, and a confession I hear a lot from so many different women is:
“I had a good man. I know that now. One who genuinely cared about me, respected me, loved me and wanted to work with me…but I didn’t know how to work with him. I didn’t know how to be in a healthy relationship with someone. I brought my old habits, fears, and thought processes from toxic relationships into a healthy relationship and ultimately, well…the person who is showing up in all the right ways can only take so much from the person who is showing up in all the wrong ones.”
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If you’ve made it this far it’s for one of two reasons:
You’re either currently IN a relationship with a good guy and feel like you might fuck it up, or you want to prepare yourself as best and as realistically as you can for a healthy relationship when it comes around.
So click the button below to book your seat and put yourself in the position to learn - because we can't do better if we don't learn better - right? Right.
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This 3 day workshop is 88USD, starts on Monday, February 5th at 7PM EST via Zoom and will be recorded. Playbacks are sent out to everyone the following day.